Best Canned Meat


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Introduction to Canned Meats

Canned meat can be a great source of protein but which canned meat to buy can be downright confusing sometimes. Personally, I eat a lot of canned sardines and mackerel as they are high in Omega-3 Fatty Acids, which is good for your heart. It’s important to have a good ratio of Omega-3 to Omega-6 in your diet. You want more Omega-3, but enough about Omega-3’s because there is canned meat out there that has magic in every bite and it is an excellent source of sparkles.

Top 5 Canned Meats

Rank Canned Meats Type of Meat Taste
1 Radiant Farms Unicorn Magic
2 Radiant Farms Dragon Fierce
3 Wild Planet Mackerel Delicious
4 SPAM Ham Salty
5 Purina Beef Woofy

1st Place – Unicorn Meat

unicorn meat

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Unicorn Meat from Radiant Farms won the Gold Award because it has magic in every bite and it provides and excellent source of sparkles. We all know that most people are sparkle deficient these days. If you don’t believe us there are over 600 glowing reviews on Amazon. One user stated, “It’s more tender than the centaur I’ve had and far less stringy than faun.” Another user commented that they sauteed mushrooms and onions in fairy butter to make the gravy. You can see why Unicorn Meat was at the top of our list.

Here is a picture of a customer making his children a delicious meal. “Shhhhh, they don’t know it’s Unicorn Meat.”
unicorn meat dinner prep

2nd Place – Dragon Meat

dragon meat

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Dragon Meat from Radiant Farms was a close second. It was really hard to select a winner in our canned meat category. Dragon meat is advertised as being “the most dangerously delicious meat on earth”, and I do believe them. There are over 9 cuts of meat in each can. It’s a perfect snack for when you are on your journey to middle earth.

Here is a pic of the different cuts of meat available in each can.
different cuts of dragon meat

3rd Place – Mackerel


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Loaded with Omega 3’s canned mackerel is one of the better heart healthy choices you can make. The folks at Wild Planet use a process that helps the marine ecosystem by only catching mackerel and not other types of fish. It’s canned in extra virgin olive oil and they come boneless and skinless. Best of all they are wild caught in the North Pacific.

Canned Meat Buyer’s Guide

Before selecting the proper can of meat you should be well aware of the types that are available in the market. Not all canned meat can be purchased at your local grocery store so you might have to purchase them online. No need to worry about shipment as the meat is already canned and won’t spoil.

Types of Canned Meat

unicorn meat 1Magical
Magical canned meat is a little harder to come by so far we have only been able to find canned Unicorn Meat and canned Dragon meat. Both are equally pleasing to the palette.

Sardines and mackerel are more of the popular canned fish meat you will find. You can typically get them skinless and boneless or in water or olive oil.

Canned ham has been popular for years. Actually SPAM just celebrated it’s 75th anniversary not to long ago. It does contain sodium nitrate so be careful if you are sensitive to nitrates.

Most other canned meats are for pets. We don’t recommend that you eat them. However, if you are going to go against our sound advice go for an organic brand.


We hope you had fun and laughed a little while reading this review. We don’t recommend eating unicorn meat or dragon meat. There’s always someone out there who will try to eat it.